...TO THE DANCERS!!

"The journey of a life starts with a move and no dance can be formed by just standing in one place or moving in circles."

You see, I've always had a thing for people that could dance. Now, not those 'agbero' people that be thinking they got 'moves like Jagger' just cause they can move from left to right while people are "WHOA!!"ing and all...nehh, I don't do those.
I mean, the ballerinas, the studio dancers, the real video vixens(not aunty Beverly o) and the ones who can do the 'skelewu', 'doggie' 'neh-neh' and all 'em cat daddy and the likes properly. Not the 'modernized azonto by Nigeria people' ones o!
I'm crazyy about them; and truth is they give a lot into this. To some it's a talent, others a skill. But, still, they work veryy hard for what they do.

To you guys, we love you! Orr, I love you! You totally rock and are amazing with the moves. Ma worry, gbogbo oyinbo ma wa employ gbogbo yin. 

:** Keep dancing!

-Your timely post-woman,
Praise

LETTER TO THE 'MODELS'

Undearest wanna-be girls,
I fully understand your need to be noticed as I experienced this as a child in elementary school. However, what I don't get is the extent you're ready to go just to get this attention.
As a child, all I ever had to do was cry as loud as I could. But you...oh no!
Infact, my main concern is the 'models'; they seem to believe agencies will hire them if their pictures get a thousand plus likes. Like really though, who's gonna like a picture of you in a bikini 5sizes too small and all your stretchies on full display??? NO ONE'S THAT BLIND!
Darlings, I empathize with your need to strut down the runway, but wearing too low cut shorts, over-crop tops and "10-inches" heels only to fall on 3rd Mainland Bridge is NOT the way at all!
Everytime I see y'all pictures, especially your idea of 'selfies', iWeaken!
...I don't even have anything to say again. Just, please, keep your modelling practices to yourself.

Your sincerly-tired-of-seeing-ugly-faces postwoman,
- Praise

LETTER TO THE 'CHRISTIANS'

Dear followers of Christ,
I seem to have a problem with your attitude. You go around adding "#TeamGodFirst" and "FAITHFUL CHRISTIAN" to your Twitter bios and your Facebook About Me. Yet, to simply tweet or post about the mercies of God, it's a burden.
Most times, it's the same people whose  bio only reads 'Proudly Christian' that tweet everything sexual or nasty. They're the ogas at the top when it comes to tweetfights and all the terrible things on Twitter.
Doesn't your Bible let you know that "You are in the world but not of the world" or is mine now a different version? :s
Life is quite short and I'm sure your Bible (if it turns out to be the same version as mine) tells you that "He that winneth souls is wise". If you die now without proclaiming the gospel, would you still be considered wise?
Hmmm... I'm just voicing my opinions though; what do I know?

LETTER TO THE 'FOLLOWERS'

Dearest followers,
I have no reason to thank you for following. Absolutely none. What have you done since following me? Paraded yourself on my TL as 'twitcelebs', abi? Or tweeted about how much of a 'long ass' day it was? *Sigh* You guys sadden me most times. It's weakening when I tweet 'RAIN' and the next thing I see is 'Lez cuddle', don't you understand the idea of a cold night leading to a peaceful sleep?
Lol, anyways, I love you guys. The silly ones, the ones too stupid to be called idiots, the hilarious ones, the deep ones, the ones with the words of encouragement, the #TwitterAfterDark tweeps, the real niggas, the models who don't know about IG, the time keepers, the ones I told my problems to, and those random ones that fly into my mentions without a pre-amble. Y'all are crayy, but, hey, what can I say, without you, Twitter would be B-O-R-I-N-G.
So, I'm letting you know now that I love y'all(you'll probably never catch me admitting it again). 

Loads of hugs and kisses :**

LETTER TO THE LOVEBIRDS

Dear lovers,

Keep your love to yourself,
We don't want to have to watch your make-out sessions in the cinema while the chick flick goes on.
Some of us still belong to the single club, with no one to hug or cuddle.

O ye lovebirds,
Fly to the highest mountains and do your 'lovey-dovey' there
High up in the sky, where none can see or hear you.

Keep your kisses in the private,
Expose them not to us at the malls,
For if you do this in the open, we wonder not what you do in the closets.

Stop the 'kind-hearted' matchmaking by the way,
Some of us are glad the way we are.
We know you are enamored with each other, we don't have to be that way with your friends.

Keep your love to yourself,
We are tired of the sneaked kisses you think we don't see.
Most of us are still hyping the single club, with only a pillow to hug at night.

Where's the Postman ?

Knock, Knock!
I've got a letter to deliver to you. It's straight to the point and simple, from someone who just wants to write. The only return address on it is the 'comments' section and the sending address is to everyone who opens this.
All you have to do to read is to click the title which letter you feel relates to you, read and reply.
The epistles are to you, ponder...

Your faithful post-woman,
- Praise .